Today I've going to focus on one of television's greatest villains. He strikes fear into the hearts of his adversaries and will stop at nothing to eliminate the Ventures. Today's villain is of course, The Monarch!
The Monarch
Background: A supervillain who is affiliated with the Guild of Calamitous Intent, The Monarch is obsessed with destroying who he believes to be his archnemesis- Dr. Rusty Venture. Venture wants almost nothing to do with the Monarch, and thankfully the Monarch is incredibly incompetant and therefore doesn't pose too much of a threat to the Venture family. The Monarch is allied with his wife, Dr. Mrs. The Monarch, and his loyal but inept henchmen who all also dress like butterflies.
Great Quotes of the Monarch:
-"You know what's insane? You dated a man who read a book entitled, "The Secret". You know what that "secret" is? Your ex-boyfriend is a loser. Oh, but don't tell anybody... secret."
-"I don't even feel like taking a whizz on this! I used to DREAM about taking a whizz on this!"
-The Phantom Limb: Revenge, like gazpacho soup, is best served cold. Precise and merciless.
The Monarch: Yeah, yeah, you can never have enough precision in your soup.
-The Monarch: I don't think I'm the one in danger here... considering the sad fact that right below you flows the MIGHTY AMAZON - teeming with the most GRUESOME fish to ever... Hank Venture: [interrupting] The piranha!
The Monarch: No.
Hank Venture: The shark?
The Monarch: No!
Hank Venture: ...The piranha!
The Monarch: NO! And shut up! This isn't a quiz.
-Baron Ünderbheit: You have to give me this one. I've loathed Venture ever since college.
The Monarch: Oh, who hasn't, Ünderpants? What makes your case so special?
[Ünderbheit groans, points to his metal jaw]
The Monarch: Wow, you mean he did that? How?
Baron Ünderbheit: Where I come from, a lab partnership is a sacred trust. One is always suppose to look out for one's lab partner. Venture did not.
The Monarch: Fine, fine. But you have to understand you can't waltz into the middle of a delicate, high-stakes chess tournament and yell, "King me!" 'cause he bitched up your face.
-The Monarch: The usual he threw me in jail. He literally threw me right into the yard of the state prison and he shouts up to the warden, "looks like this one won't be causing any more trouble." Then he flies off with this gay salute
Dr. Girlfriend: Oh my god
The Monarch: Apparently he's never heard of due process
-What can I do to Dr. Venture that life hasn't done to him already?
-I'm not going to flush. Let them see the wrath of the Monarch!
-Henchman 21: Here is where you are wrong, my friend. This woman has killed before.
Henchman 24: Allegedly.
Henchman 21: Okay, whatever. But she was a big girl. We are talking about a large, healthy woman of questionable stability.
Henchman 24: Oh, you are totally underestimating the never-say-die scrappiness of a survivor.
Monarch: Hey, guess what? Nobody cares who would win in a crazy fantasy fist-fight between Anne Frank and Lizzy Borden. We never should have brought the henchmen! We're going to be the only ones there with henchmen! I'm gonna have to kill them. Pull over if you see a good spot to dump their bodies!
-Dr. Venture: You just won't stop, will you? You just keep pushing my buttons.
Monarch: You're my arch-enemy. That's what I do - it's my thing!
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